Bandog Limericks

A bandog strikes fear with its howls
And when guarding its post,
fiercely growls. If ones challenging you,
Do you know what to do? Hey, you may
lose control of your bowels.

We was planning to nick this gent's purse
When my colleague runs off with a curse.
"We better get clear, coz the bandog is here,
and we'll end up in Newgate or worse."

~In this limerick, bandog is old London slang
for the bailiffs, before Sir Robert Peel
introduced the police force (Peelers).
Newgate was the main prison, and theft
was a hanging crime till the mid 19th century.


He kills Culan's bandog, then sees
A fine chance to advance and appease:
Take its place and its name!
Now Cu Chulainn has fame
As a guardsman. Too bad he caught fleas.

~Cu Chulainn, an important figure of Irish legend,
Was given his name (Which means the "Hound of Culann")
In commemoration of his killing a prized watchdog and
volunteering to stand guard in its place until he could find
A worthy replacement. He was originally named Setanta.